I did a whole film documentary on falling off track and getting back.
But now I’m thinking what if that falling OFF were just part of the whole deal,
part of the experience,
part of what I needed to see more clearly?
At the time of the “event”, it never feels like the OFF is an ON.
What if we need to fall in order to feel the contrast of the good and the bad, the up and down, the fat and thin, the lack and abundance, the sweet and sour? The wowsa stuff. So that the wowsa could feel more WOW!
What if it were all divine?
What if it were all just lessons we signed on for ?
What if the “off” was actually the on?
What if we need to “fall off” so that we can “fall into” the miracle?
AM I NUTS?
That possibility exists. My kids say “Mom, you’re crazy” all the time. But I strongly believe without a shadow of a doubt that I am the artist, the actor, the creator, the designer of my own life.
I believe that I can be, do or have anything I want. I believe that I, myself and the God(dess) with in me have this ‘shit’ all worked out. That these are all just experiences in humanness so that I can recognize my divinity.
“WOO WOO” you say? I disagree and say “WOWSA”.
What did I sign up for?
Technically, I signed up for a body building figure competition at age 52, competing with my very own 23 year old daughter standing a couple of competitors away on that stage. Defying many odds to get this body up there. YES, I technically signed up for that event. But what did I really sign up for?
What about all the “stuff” that came along with this event?
This stuff is what my documentary film is all about – the stuff I learned, the patience or lack of it, the trust or lack of it, the food and lack of it, the fear and much of it, the doubt… the shitty tan, the shit with my daughter when we were both starving, cranky and tired, my unappreciated body that was showing up anyway, the injuries to my body, the hard work to my psyche, the failures, the challenges, the successes, the disbelief, the belief… ALL OF IT.
I signed up for these experiences that went along with this journey to the stage.
And wowsa, wowsa, wowsa, those lessons that came with the competition were profound and could not be learned elsewhere. So how lucky am I?
Deep down somewhere (even though at the time I questioned it all) I wanted these experiences because what the heck is life without them?
You can’t know up without down, good without bad, sweet without sour, fat without thin.
You can’t experience deeply without feeling it all. There is no filter for feelings. Feelings are feelings and hiding the bad ones, takes away opportunity to feel the good ones so you feel nothing but numb and that sucks.
If you want a magical life, you must feel it all and allow it all to flow thru you with patience, with trust, with faith, with love. And most of all, with gratitude.
Here’s the deal. My fall off track was necessary and actually a really good thing for me so I could get to that place and space to accept what is. Because in every moment there is magic and in every moment there is divinity.
I can’t make this shit up.
It comes downloaded to my fingers from something greater than me and I am just sharing it with you.
This falling off thing that we humans beat ourselves up about may be the very thing we came here for.
SHOW ME STUFF. LET ME FEEL and TASTE and SAVOR my way thru my DELICIOUS life.
A fall off track is not exactly a fall OFF at all, but a way to get ON to the bigger and better experiences that life and being alive has to offer. The rich, yummy and delectable treats.
I invite you to sit for a minute and contemplate this concept.
Where in your life have you “fallen” into a lesson or a miracle?
Once you acknowledge this you can appreciate all that comes your way.
SN40x is one of those miracles that came to me and a creation that happened in a week of downloads based on 53 years of life-lessons and daily miracles that came my way. What can you create from your beautiful life lessons? Is there something inside you waiting for you to feel, to savor to share?
Share with me in a comment below.